ANGELIQUE ELECTRA
For most of my career life, I suffered with the thought that livelihood is one choice you make and you throw yourself into it 110%, and that other “thing” you want to do, has to be sacrificed. There is an aching longing for the “thing” which sits outside the realm of practicality, security and familial approval. That “thing” may be a work life as an artist, writer, activist, entrepreneur, business owner, naturalist, life coach, designer, performer, or a hundred other roles that make your blood race with excitement. So as I continued down the road of decades of work as a lawyer, I turned my back on several dreams, including fashion design, writing and psychology, that fueled my youth and young adulthood.
Then the revelation hit. Why do we think this? All or nothing? Why do we assume that the thing we love cannot be woven into our lives to fulfill us? Why do we close the door and then long for the knock at that door — to be opened and stepped through? Why are we so stubborn that we must be able to support ourselves through our art or special calling? Why are we not a compendium of diverse skills, talents and gifts that deserve to be expressed, however, whenever? Why can’t I have it all, if all of it has its own importance?
Consider that a calling is an act of contribution. It is that thing that drives us to add meaningful, impactful substance to our world. It is that thing that defines our being — that is designed to be shared and benefit others. We link it to the societal necessity of work as the barter system through which we are able to purchase the means to thrive, shelter, nourish and protect.
This is not to say that supporting one’s life with work that fulfills calling is not available. It is. But is it an automatic switch you flip? Doesn’t turning calling into work require a strategic action plan designed to achieve mastery? Shouldn’t it be something that can also serve others with a felt need or desire, to be compensable?
Breaking apart calling from work is a mind bend, but it’s necessary. There is no cosmic rule that makes true the notion that calling and livelihood must combine. What is necessary is that you express your calling, gifts, talents and full self-expression however, whenever and for whomever you can.
When we betray that longing by locking it up and secretly hiding the key, it is an act of self-betrayal. That leads to a suppression of our authenticity, which can also lead to depression. Denying that piece of us is like lopping off a limb. We walk ahead somewhat crippled, a strange ongoing limp, most of those in our lives won’t notice. We’ve become really good at hiding it, and the effort it takes to keep it up can become exhausting.
Work is meant to engage the best of us to offer a service to another that has value, for them and for you. It is also the engine of economy — the flow of reward fuels and determines the level of our physical well-being as well as our psychological state. That work which is needed to put a roof over your head, feed your family or permit a vacation, may or may not be the work that fills your soul. But it also doesn’t mean that we abandon that which does. It simply means you offer yourself a way to experience it anyway, and plan a course for its growth. Then observe, almost like a bystander, where it leads you.
You Don’t Have to Choose…Integrate
Reserve moments for yourself to immerse yourself — through being mentored, learning, interacting with the tribe you feel aligned with, or devoting just 30 minutes a day with focus on that which you love.
If your day job does not allow you to coach professionally, focus on how you can coach others in a conversation, including any friend that needs guidance. If you want to be a professional writer, spend a little time early in the morning, during a lunch hour or after dinner, to write a page, or a few paragraphs you can submit to a blog. If you love art, ensure that you subscribe to activities and events that allow some immersion. Take a course toward mastery of the thing you love. Join a community or tribe to share your aspirations and ideas. Support other like-minded creatives or entrepreneurs. Keep those watercolors and drawing pad nearby. If you want to run your own online business, immerse yourself in what it takes to do it well, and devote a little time every day to take the small steps, or low risk activities. If you want to engage in social justice, volunteer.
The things you love to do, you can always do. Releasing the notion that they must be your “career” right now in order to enjoy them (and benefit others) is a belief you can test. The passage of time happens no matter what you are doing. Why not spend some of it doing what you love? Consider that “thing” as an eternal flame that you keep lit and glowing. Allow for the possibility that it will ignite and grow, as you master it. Allow for the possibility that this eternally burning flame will draw moths of opportunity as well.
Most of all, consider that it’s time to Shine your Light…not into some uncertain future when you think all the pieces have to fall in place…
No, it’s Now.
What’s your Next Step to Shine?