ANGELIQUE ELECTRA
I recently participated in a mental health training session at work, and considered the state of my own mental health. I am usually one of those people that push through and accept stress, depression and anxiety as a part of work life that unexpectedly comes and goes in waves. Whether it is the weight of work demands, or the urgent needs of loved ones, there is no easy way to disconnect, run away or hide under a rock to recover your peace of mind. In the age of the Pandemic, there are especially no convenient escapes — except to go inside the deep recesses of the same mind that is apparently making you feel miserable.
Yet, the willful ignoring of your negative feelings or mindset is what does the real damage. That leads to lack of sleep, overindulgent eating, numbness, self-imposed isolation, and snappish behaviors toward others who fall within your path. It deepens the hole of misery because you don’t unearth it to release it. The better version of your Self takes a hike and says “see you later– until you’re nice again.”
Pretending that stress, depression and anxiety are part of your natural make-up and that the grand “push” every day is all that is needed to get through it– leads to unanticipated and unwanted results. The very things you dread become attracted to you, validating the sources of your distress.
Now, you can find your way to transform it.
What I’ve learned to do…
I notice, I stop, I pause, and take a deep breath and simply acknowledge and accept my state of mind. I don’t ponder the cause of it — I just notice that I am queasy and unsettled. From that place, I simply ask, “so what now?” What can I do in this moment to do a reset? How can I see and feel this differently?
I Recognize the Lie I May be Telling Myself — Most often there are recurring negative thoughts that drive the symptoms of mental distress — and which aren’t really true. Asking yourself “Is this absolutely and completely true” is one of the most powerful tools for a mind-shift. It opens up spacious possibilities for alternative thinking when you otherwise feel imprisoned by your mind. If a thought is causing distress, chances are that the core of it has no absolute truth to it, and further chances are that it’s sourced from Fear — False Evidence Appearing Real. Affirming that it’s just a repetitive, transitory thought, separate from who you really are, removes its power over you. You have freedom to choose another point of view.
Gratitude — what in this moment am I grateful for? For me, these answers most often are the fundamentals — I am breathing, I am healthy, I can walk, talk and perform. I can take of myself. I have a roof over my head, with heat and air. My refrigerator is full. I have some money in the bank. I have people I love and who love me. Most are a phone call away to support and encourage me. I am never really alone. I have a personal relationship with My Higher Source, who does not fail me when I call.
Belief in My Own Resilience — In this moment, I acknowledge my ability to gain strength from exercising the muscles of healthy responsiveness. I say “this too will pass, as the clouds do.” I know that this mindset is temporary and that in this moment, I will not take actions which hurt myself or others. “I am Enough” for this moment and more.
I have the Power to Shift — Through this conscious pause, I regain my sense of autonomy and confidence that I have the ability to change my mind. That I am not helpless. I can get up and shake my body, take a short walk, call a friend for a quick hello, hug my dog or decide to commit to do something I enjoy when the work day ends.
I know that I am So Much More than “this.” In the moment of awake-ness to my state of mind, I can remind myself that this is not who I am. I am so much more than whatever is at the root of anxiety, stress or depression. The mind and heart that is restless, sad or afraid is also creative, loving, and is connected to a higher Mind that knows everything..including all the answers to the many questions parading in my mind. I know that I am more than my body, my job, my possessions and the many negative or emotionally charged thoughts that feel true, but in fact, are not.
Any sign of mental distress is to be recognized and acknowledged in the light of day — and not just to ignore and power through it. Being very present to it and then shifting into truth telling, appreciation and self-empowerment, and most of all, faith, can be your greatest help when help feels futile.
When there is mental distress, stop, see it clearly, feel it deeply, acknowledge it graciously, and let it wash over you like a wave that will recede back into the endless ocean.