ANGELIQUE ELECTRA
The truth is that as human beings, we usually dismiss or sometimes cannot even locate, the inherent magnificence of our lives. Think about it. You don’t regularly focus on the great stuff — instead, you focus on your fears, mistakes, regrets and decisions that did not turn out as desired. Who takes the time to review and appreciate one’s life with the thoughtfulness with which we read a novel or assess a movie — sorting out the hero/heroine, the plot, the characters, the challenges and the achievements, with themes, meanings, lessons and incentives for the next, new adventure?
Have you ever backed up and really seen your REAL STORY?
Focusing on the thematic “plot-line” of your life reveals important information. It’s the information that becomes hard evidence that you matter, that you can create, and get to the next step of your life, however challenged. For instance, there is always a part of your story that tells what it took to leave an undesired situation and find something else, or take the steps to have something or someone special find you. Elements could include the hard-won educational path you took, the great relationship you co-created, the job you competed for, the lives you’ve changed for the better, or other goals you attained. These story elements also include lots of hurdles, obstacles and difficult people. While elements also include the doubts or criticisms that you have had about yourself may have dominated your thinking, do also remember that those same thoughts were also accompanied by other, more powerful thoughts and actions that also propelled more motivation, effort, learning, strength and resilience.
If your Life often seems difficult or uninspiring, you likely still see and experience yourself through the eyes of a very disillusioned Child Self. After recalling the phase of your innocence (of boundless curiosity, play and laughter), you may carry those first tender impressions of when you learned the “real” parameters of your world, the need to “grow up,” your limitations, and the ache for the loving and accepting attention you may have wanted then. There may have been some very unhappy, even traumatic experiences that feel damaging. What may now predominate your thinking is how to avoid the next big unwanted experience. You may get up everyday expecting to dodge or fight the waiting dragons standing in your way. It can be very hard to step back from it all and develop a new perspective about what your Life is really showing you — and the world around you.
Any story that focuses on how bad things are (or have been) will hold you back.
Being at the effect of whatever happens to you, will disable you from deciding rightly what will happen for you. Any story you tell yourself that depicts you as long-suffering, struggling or generally unhappy will keep you in its grip. However, taking a new look and creating a much enhanced, reshaped story about the actual truth of your life — how you grew, persevered, excelled and created the good stuff of your life, will shine and be propelling.
Remember this…You are a pearl…. It takes a lot of roughage and friction over a significant period of time to create the pearl. The path to “pearl-dom” is your story…the experiences, the learnings, the difficult people, the challenging circumstances, the hurt and pain, and then the triumphs. And we all have them. With every heartache or disappointment, a new learning and insight. New strategies evolve and we count on new opportunities to apply them.
If asked “What is your Story,” what would you say?
How to Build Your Story
Journal to answer or describe the following, and you will have the elements of your narrative story:
–Your Beginnings… Consider your Parents and Caretakers and how they made you feel.
–What were the nature of the Fears, Traumas or Anxieties of your Child-Self? How did they impact your behaviors growing up?
–What are the most impactful things (good and bad) people have told you about yourself and did you believe them? How did you discover your own truth?
–The 3 Biggest Experiences that most Impacted your Life or Your Understanding of Your Life
–The 3 Biggest Decisions you Made
–The 3 Biggest Lessons you Learned or Gifts you Received
–The 3 Top Self-Commitments of your Personal Manifesto
–The Biggest Vision you have for Yourself — No Holds Barred –and without Excuses or Conditions
–Based on that Vision, your envisioned impact on others
Next, begin your story much like a tale, with “Once upon a time, there was a little girl (boy) who……”
–Build the story of your child’s, teen’s and adult’s adventures through life, using your Story elements.
–Say your story out loud to yourself. Record it.
–Feel its interest and power. Imagine a novel or movie about your Life.
–Project it forward with the new Visions you have for your Life — as though it has already happened.
Now, tell Your New Story to the part of You who really needs to hear it.
The next time you want to attract great people into your life, build that resume or prepare for an interview, go ahead and introduce and explain the themes of your life and why they matter. Feel the power of it, and allow it to embrace and lift you up.
Fashioning your narrative is the gift that keeps giving. It fuels your own goals and ambitions, grows self-confidence and self-appreciation and enables you to share yourself and your story with strength and self-awareness. Your created narrative as a powerful, inspiring story will improve your ability to create and nurture personal and professional relationships, and improve your work opportunities or attract clients. It creates the basis for the expression of your own authenticity, and lends expression to your character and your own personal brand — who you are and what you stand for.
Take the time to develop that narrative and see the gold among the leaden pieces of ore — and most of all, see and experience the Pearl you have become!
